ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
