I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She announced her abortion via fbk
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
