She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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