Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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