You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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