I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
