Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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