they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
