i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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