There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
