If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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