that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
