I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
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I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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