once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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