so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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