WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?