so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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