Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

(217): View more from Illinois

Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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(708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8

Replies (2) Good night (1363) Bad night (561)
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(573): View more from Missouri

she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight

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(573): she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight http://tfl.nu/znt4

Replies (27) Good night (6655) Bad night (976)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd

(1-808): View more from Hawaii

lock that shit down

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(808): dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd (1-808): lock that shit down http://tfl.nu/r4jz

Replies (31) Good night (7777) Bad night (759)
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(614): View more from Ohio

It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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(614): It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask. http://tfl.nu/r7za

Replies (8) Good night (8304) Bad night (1083)
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(585): View more from New York

I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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(585): I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party... http://tfl.nu/k1nk

Replies (10) Good night (1196) Bad night (4247)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock

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(704): She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock http://tfl.nu/w4aw

Replies (12) Good night (2851) Bad night (1233)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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(508): i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now http://tfl.nu/g57m

Replies (5) Good night (1735) Bad night (1549)
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(406): View more from Montana

I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?

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(406): I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete? http://tfl.nu/gioo

Replies (9) Good night (2225) Bad night (880)
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(713): View more from Texas

I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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(713): I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/2wij

Replies (10) Good night (1621) Bad night (905)
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(571): View more from Virginia

So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock

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(571): So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock http://tfl.nu/1xfu

Replies (3) Good night (1761) Bad night (940)
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(510): View more from California

Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

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(510): Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye? http://tfl.nu/6n0k

Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (455)
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(727): View more from Florida

I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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(727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa

Replies (10) Good night (572) Bad night (489)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD

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(203): ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD http://tfl.nu/7sc6

Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (289)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".

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(508): We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them". http://tfl.nu/eeyg

Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (349)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!

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(647): I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers! http://tfl.nu/sbfn

Replies (6) Good night (631) Bad night (661)

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