Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
