How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it glows. i had to have it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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