omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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