I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
