these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
