I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
