I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
