I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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