We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize