I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
