Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
