I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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