Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
