I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
