Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
