glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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