Old men and throwing up are my life now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
