what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
