Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize