I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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