Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize