I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
