dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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