So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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