a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
