OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
