he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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