Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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