So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize