dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
