I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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