physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
