Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What a dumb baby whore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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