We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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