btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
