dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
false alarm, still single
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