Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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