I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i think i just lost a toe
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
