you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
