And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
