Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
