that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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