bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
