it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
