Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
