i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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