haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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