So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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