my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
