Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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