Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
