some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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